Episode 8, here we come. Episode 7 was a waste of time as no one was eliminated so we can safely assume that someone will get eliminated in episode 8. At least I hope that is the case.
Leo and Jamal finished first last week so they will get to leave a few minutes before everyone else and have the honor of waiting for all the other teams to arrive and wait with them.
The bunnies were last but Darth Phil decided this was not an elimination leg so they are still with us. On the one hand, that’s great. Nicky and Kim are pretty hot and Kim seems like an amazingly sweet gal. Almost too sweet. The chances she had to push others out of the race (such as the U Turn) were turned down in an effort to be nice. On the other hand this is the SECOND time they were given a pass.
Oh, dear. Yes, love? You rock. No, you rock.
Let’s get down to business. There’s a chance to screw someone else over. (I like her now, btw)
Oh, dear god. More driving. And Oklahoma isn’t here to bail us out…
That face? Phil left his number in the envelope.
The first task this week is to go to a Ford Explorer (with EcoBoost!) garage. The coins they retrieved prior to the Viking longhouse ages ago will provide the clue they need to unlock the SUV. But wait… Tim and Marie don’t have a sack? Well, Marie does. But not the right kind of sack. She has lady sack. But wait…
This can mean only one thing. Phil has decided he likes her better than the Bunnies.
Where in the hell did they get the code?? They don’t have the sack.
There will be a U Turn coming up and Jamy are ahead of Marie and the weight tied around her ankle. And don’t forget…
Better get a move on. Providence Amy will U Turn you so fast…
The various teams hop in cars and head to the next task. Nothing of note happens except for the Bunnies declare they are now Ninjas (nah, that’s not going to stick) and they remind the viewers that they have a Speed Bump to deal with. Seeing as I don’t like this show I have no idea what that is. A Speed Bump is “the penalty for finishing last in a non-elimination leg is that the affected team will have to perform a “Speed Bump” task sometime during the next leg.” It’s also explained that Leo and Jamal can not use the U Turn because they already did in an earlier leg. This makes it imperative that they use their lead to get past it before anyone can U Turn them.
The next task is to hop in dune buggies and race each other to their next destination. Interestingly enough, this is the first tame anyone has actually raced anyone else in the Amazing Race this season. The Afghanimals finish first and get their next clue. The doctors are second. Marie and her dead weight arrive with Jamy and shortly ahead of the Buninjas along with our team.
I don’t know what he’s holding, but it’s probably not a good idea to get high in the UAE.
Several teams got stuck in some loose sand. The Buninjas decide to just keep spinning their tires in it…
and they wind up having to dig the tires out. By the way, it’s “like, really hot.” They wound up “burning out the clutch” and had to go grab another dune buggy.
The doctors arrive at the Detour first…
Apparently Phil likes to eat. Yet another “prepare an intricate meal” detour.
The doctors choose: Express Pass
Leo and Jamal choose: Wedding Guests
Marie and her dead weight choose: Beauty Contest
Jamy: Beauty Contest
Ashley and Ally: Beauty Contest
Buninjas: Beauty Contest
Since they used the Express Pass, the doctors arrived at the U Turn location before anyone else. They chose Jamal and Leo because…
The parents are out to teach the kids a lesson.
The Afghanimals are preparing a meal. Nothing interesting there. Tim and Marie are the first to pick their camel and… Tim gets kicked in the shins. By a camel. He laughed it off and kept going which earns him some respect points.
Their first choice is wrong. Jamy go to look for a camel and Amy informs us she was a former “Rhode Island USA” and “Former Rhode Island Teen USA.” Whoopee. She decides that her past beauty pageant experience will assist her in selecting the most beautiful camel.
I can see the resemblance. These poor camels are starving themselves and getting surgery in order to conform to society’s idea of beauty.
Doctors get to the Road Block before everyone else even finishes their Detour due to using the Express Pass.
As you ride the biggest man made rapids in the word, grab three different colored flags. Pssh, I’ve been to Knott’s Berry Farm.
Side note, this is the first thing I’ve seen all season that I am jealous of. This seems like buckets of fun.
Marie and Tim (he gets his name back after suffering a camel kick equal to the force of Chun Li) figure out which camel is sufficiently beautiful before Jamy finish. As they explore the area for the tower which holds their next clue, they run into the Afghanimals. The Afghanimals discover that they finished and move on to the Beauty Contest thinking they will save time (omg they are completely oblivious to the fact that they have been UTurned! Oh the intense drama!) Jamy find a camel that is too unruly to be considered beautiful (I’ve had that problem a time or two) and move on to a more cooperative camel.
Leo and Jamal prepare their camel (while successfully dodging the same kick Tim took to the shin.) We still haven’t seen either the Buninjas or my loves (the Ice Girls) arrive at the camel depot. Meanwhile the Doctors have already finished the rafting task and discover they have to drive on the “best driving road in the world” to check in at the next pit stop. The last team to arrive at the pit stop “may” be eliminated.
The Afghanimals finish making their camel look pretty and discover they have been UTurned. They are confused as to why they were UTurned since lying in a contest where the winner walks away with a million dollars is not really a crime. They tell us that they are now more determined to win and come in first.
Meanwhile, the Doctors are already finished. For finishing first, they get to choose any vehicle in Ford’s lineup (as long as it has an EcoBoost engine). They’d better win now or they’re going to have to pay the taxes on these prizes at the end of the year… oh wait, they’re doctors. \
The Afghanimals go back and continue to prepare the wedding feast. Marie and Tim jog to the tower they are supposed to search (for some reason Tim decided they should carry their bags) and Marie exclaims, “I could punch you in the face right now.” Since Tim is still willing to hang out with Marie, I’m willing to bet he finds that hot.
They arrive at the UTurn spot next and…
The person most upset by this is Phil. It will be hard to save them from this. This is blamed on the airport priority stunt.
Ashley and Ally proceed to pick out their camel and the Buninjas decide that relying on animals isn’t a good idea. They head off to prepare food and the Afghanimals decide to lie and tell them they are almost done after only fifteen minutes. Oh man, what a plot twist.
Ashley, for some reason, comes alive during this event. She shows some pinache as she prepares her camel for the judges. “Oh yeah, look at you, you’re posing. You’re getting all fancy on me. See, you like it.” Ally proclaims, “We’re really good at makeup and hair so…” Yeah, I’ve seen some of the gals outside of work. They look like normal gals. Then they hit up the makeup and hair prior to hitting the ice and…
Kill me now. HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT
I bet this is the same thing she feels when sweaty, hairy guys approach her to take pictures at Staples. Luckily, she’s allowed
to dodge the camel and spray it in the face with an aerosol can.
After finishing up with the camel preparation, the Amazing Race decided to play some porno music in the background as the girls march the camel up to the judges.
The Buninjas discover they have been UTurned and decide that Marie and Tim are “mean.” They finish their camel challenge quickly and move on.
Meanwhile, Ashley and Ally are driving to the rafting challenge and we discover that Ashley is a driver. She hates being in the back seat.
Ally tells us about all the frustrations involved in navigating a foreign place. Honestly, I think she’s annoyed that she has to wear some really crappy plastic Kings sunglasses that look like they are given to children when they successfully finish reading a Dr. Seuss book when she definitely has some designer Michael Kors sunglasses laying around the house.
While the Ice Girls drive around lost, the Doctors, Jamy, and Marie + Tim have already finished. The Afghanimals and the Ice Girls arrive at the rafting joint before the Buninjas. Ashley and Jamal hop in the rafts and the most shrieking I’ve ever heard outside of a Bieber concert (no, I wasn’t there) commences. The Buninjas find out they have to complete a speed bump. This involves swimming across a channel that produces a 6 foot wave every 90 seconds and grabbing a ladder. It turns out Kim is afraid of heights and doesn’t want to jump in the water… I’m starting to assume they get eliminated this time around.
The Afghanimals easily complete their rafting challenge and then tell the camera that “we have chicken blood on us. Next will be human blood.” The Ice Girls arrive shortly after and Phil asks, “We have seen some affection during the race, is there any chance something might happen?” Jamal responds with, “I think if we finish number one and two we can work something out.”
Now that everyone is here except for the Buninjas, we can safely assume they will be eliminated. OR WILL THEY??
They are. Phil lets them know they are goners and they leave in dignity and grace. They don’t cry. They talk about how great of a time they’ve had and decide they are happier as bunnies than they were as ninjas.
This was a fairly entertaining episode. I hated it less than I did most of the others.